寫作分享:想要高分,段落必須具備統一性

by Lia Hsu

之前,我曾在寫作的系列文章裡,探討寫作時切題的重要性。

今天,我想撇開審題想點,從段落的一致性下手,提醒同學撰寫段落時最重要的原則。撰寫段落時的重要原則即為:你的段落應具有統一性。

所謂的統一性,意指你所寫的每一個段落,應只能發展一個主題或一個主題中的某一個面向。許多同學在寫作時,往往還未釐清自己那一段想表達的核心為何便開始寫作,如此一來,寫出的段落便會非常發散,顯得不知所云。

請試讀以下段落(這個段落是我為教學用途,為同學生出來的):

People go to college to gain knowledge. In colleges, there are many different types of areas and majors to learn from. These courses give people training on the skills they need to enter a job. If a person does not enter college, he would not be able to gain the most basic skills for employment. In other words, no companies would want him because he has no skills. In addition, people can also choose to explore in a variety of interests. There are a lot of club activities in universities, and in these clubs, people can make more friends and broaden their horizon. This is why college always sound attracting to people.

觀察以上段落,同學不難發現,這段作文雖然文法用詞等相對簡潔,但卻很難讓讀者抓出其中最重要的論點。

段落的一開始告訴大家 People go to college to gain knowledge;照理來說,讀者應會思考:「為什麼要進入大學獲取知識呢(Why should they enter college to gain knowledge)?

是用什麼方法獲得知識,又是獲得什麼樣的知識呢 (How can they gain knowledge by entering college, and what sort of knowledge would they gain in this place)?為什麼想獲得知識,非得靠進大學不可呢(Why is it that, they MUST enter college this place to gain the aforementioned knowledge)? 」然而,在這一段落中,只有下一句有暗示出「這是因為大學裡有很多可選擇的主修」。

之後的句子中,筆者便沒有再提及他主題句所說到的 knowledge 了,反而開始敘述 skill 和 job 的關係。段落的最後,筆者甚至還帶出了一個新概念:大學的社團活動可以幫助學生建立社交圈,因此上大學這個想法確實很吸引人。

讀完了這一長串的句子,你可能會想問:所以,人到底為什麼想要上大學?是因為想獲取知識嗎?還是為了工作做準備?還是純粹為了一份文憑?還是是為了拓展視野呢?還是是為了結交朋友?

這樣的段落讓讀者霧裡看花,我們不理解筆者想表達的重點是什麼,或是說,我們理解,這全是他想表達的,但是我們終究沒有得到一個明確的答案。

那麼,要如何才可以確保自己的段落具有統一性呢?

最簡單的方法,就是研發「你該段的主要論述」,然後,記得,就只寫這個主要論述,最好是三句重複一次這個論述裡的關鍵單字。

所謂的統一性,就是當我想寫 People go to college to gain knowledge時,我就真的只著重於:They go to college BECAUSE they DESIRE for KNOWLEDGE. 這一個概念。因此,我的論述裡的關鍵字詞就會是:because/go to college for, desire/ want, knowledge

同時,寫作前,我也會先詢問自己,我想講的是「大學裡可以獲得學問」這個概念的哪個面向呢?若我想講「大學裡可以獲得高中時獲取不到的專業學問」,這就和「唯有大學才能提供人熱愛的領域的知識」態度上稍有不同。

當然,以上的論述更是和「大學時可以協助人就業,因為人可以於大學裡獲取工作相關的技能和知識」大相徑庭。

請觀察以下幾段論述:

範例一:以specific areas 為主去論述的段落

1. People go to college to gain deeper knowledge on more specific areas. In high school, we learn only on basic subjects such as math or science, yet in college, people gain chances to take this knowledge further to investigate in nano-science, or to major in applied math. These are subjects that we would never learn in high school. In other words, if people want to gain expertise in an area, they would desire for college.

範例二:以passion 為主去論述的段落

2. People go to college to gain deeper knowledge in their passion. In high school, we learn basic subjects, and oftentimes these subjects are ones we are not interested in. However, college is intriguing because it offers loads of opportunities to explore in ideas and areas people truly enjoy and love. Take me as an example. Ever since I was young, I had taken up an interest in literature, and I could practically memorize the works I love. Until high school, however, I had never had the chance to discuss these works with experts in the field because high school, unfortunately, never offered such special courses. As a result, this was mainly my reason for attending college—because I knew that I would gain more on what I love.

範例三:以job preparation 為主去論述的段落

3. The first and foremost reason for people attending college is that college prepare people for their job. In college, people are taught on the basic requisites for work of any sort; in addition, they are also trained on how to act and perform in their job. These are basic yet important principles for people to follow; without entering college, people would not gain any of these skills. An engineer, for example,to succeed in his work, would need to learn about programming and de-bugging, and these techniques come from courses in the university. A nurse-to-be would learn more on injections by sitting in the classrooms in the university, and she would be enlightened on the risks of surgery by listening to professors in class sharing their stories. Both of these lessons guide her to profession.

讀完以上三個段落,各位有無發現,其實段落的主題可以被設置得極細膩。當你確定你的段落核心之後,想想你「該段的主辯論」是什麼?你能用什麼畫面或態度字補充你的主要辯論,以幫助讀者更快看到你各段的「主題」?而這些主題,又與題目本身有何關係?

以上這些問題,都是寫作者在寫作當下必須自行留意的事。所以呀,寫作實在是很有趣的一件事!精細的畫面,往往代表作者對於自己的論點有清楚的想法,讀者是被引領的那一方,自然是被帶著走的。當你寫作時,別忘記,讀者其實是一張白紙!我們什麼都不懂,只能從閱讀你的文章、你的段落、你的句子理解你想說什麼。

最後,為了幫助大家確保自己寫出的段落統一,我附上自己所閱讀到的三個準則:

一、確保你的每個句子都跟著主題發展;

二、確保你的每個句子都能夠推展或引導下一個句子;

三、確保你並沒有省略為了發展主題你必須使用的字句。

(以上三原則來自《Barron’s 英文寫作黃金法則》p.209)

希望大家可以藉由感受今天的段落,體會到段落統一性的重要。從今天開始,你也可以用這個準則來嚴格審閱曾經寫過的作文,當然,在開始一篇新的作文前,先想好你的段落核心和延伸的方法,再下筆吧!

祝大家寫作愉快!

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